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I sat on the end of the row, closest to the center aisle and thus the exit. That being the prime spot in any pew because when the service was over, you could get up and leave.The choir stood up and started to sing a hymn I didn’t recognize or remember. It was very nicely composed, and the choir sounded terrific. After a couple more, I dug into Calvin’s memories. It appears he paid much closer attention to church than I did in my time in one. He had a vast encyclopedia of memorized hymns, songs, scriptures. I was embarrassed by my lack. But he was clearly, a true believer where I was one but only notionally. I believed a person’s spirituality was a personal and private matter where Calvin was more outspoken in his beliefs. He has memories of being bullied in school for his outspoken views. I would have to try to maintain his level of dedication. But using the accident, and his parents’ untimely death. And the way the Church had, or had not, supported him. Resulting in a knock to his. I found myself thinking of how enjoyable it was to be with my mother and other family members again, even though the occasion was a somber one. The closeness of family felt good. It felt right. It was something that was missing in my life. I wanted to feel good again. I longed for it. No matter all the successes in my professional life, there was a large, gapping hole in my personal life. There was no one to share it with. There was no family to come home to every night. There was no one to celebrate joyful occasions with. No one to cry and be sad with. No one to love and no one to love me. I felt hollow and empty. The family and friends that gathered after my father’s death brought these feelings to the surface. I felt incomplete. The Plane……. About a month after my father’s funeral, I had flown to Atlanta to attend a national conference for managers and was on my way back. The conference had ended on a Friday giving others an excuse to play tourist in Atlanta if they felt like it..
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